Golfing Jokes?

Filed in Category Golf Jokes

Can anyone tell me a good golfing joke, I’m going on holliday to Spain shortly with a gang of golfing friends (I’m not a golfer myself) I just want to take the P*** out of them realy.

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11 Responses to “Golfing Jokes?”

  1. 1
    johnjoe said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      Golf….a good walk spoiled.

  2. 2
    Steve G said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      Three golf buds had a chance to play with the teaching pro and jumped at the chance to have their games analized. The first guy off the tee slices it big time looks at the Pro who states LOFT. The second guy duck hooks his drive OB and looks to the Pro for help, LOFT he states again. Third guy, worm-burner to a 100 yards. LOFT shouts the Pro. Puzzled the 3 look at the Pro and ask how can LOFT be the cause of three different swing results, the Pro says his final words before walking off………Lack Of Friggin Talent!

  3. 3
    kveldulf said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      Two guys are palying golf. One of them is talking aobu thow he is always losing or damaging is gilf balls. His frined tells him that he has a ball that can’t be lost or damaged. When asked to prove it, he removes a bright orange ball from his pocket. His frind, ever the sceptic points out that he has seen colored golf balls before.
      “Oh, but not like this one,” he is told, “This one is indestructable.” Then to prove it, he takes one ofhis clubs and hits the ball as hard as he can, bending the club. His friend is suitably impressd but points out that he loses quite a few in the water and that a ball that tough must be so heavy it sinks like a stone.
      In response the owner of the ball takes it to the water hazard and throws it as far as he can. The ball hits the waterand sure enough, it sinks straight to the bottom. A second later it rises to the surface and floate over to the edge where the owner is standing. The man is now ceriously interested in this ball.
      “Thats great”, he says, “but I get a lot stuck in the sand too.” Without a word his friend takes the ball to the nearest sandtrap and buryies it. A second later a small drill pokes through the serface of the sand, changes into a claw and the ball is pulled out.
      “Okay, but I lose a lot in the woods too.” Again his frine throws the ball as far as he can, this time into the woods. After a second there is this deafeninf high pitched whining squeea and a bright red laser bean shot up about 1000 feet into the air.
      “Okay, I am impressed. That is absolutely the greatest golf ball ever made. Where did you get it.”
      “Oh I found it lying near the 10th hole.”

  4. 4
    gerbilsn said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      if it wasnt for that little white ball..it would be called WALKING…lol

  5. 5
    Charles M said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      The other day I was playing a round with my friends when on the fifth hole my tee shot sliced hard to the right. It took several minutes for me to find the ball because I had hit it into a patch of buttercups. I was lining up my next shot and was about to swing when I heard this little voice say “Please don’t hit the Buttercups”. I looked around and didn’t see anyone so I lined up the shot again and just as I was about to swing I heard the same voice say “Please dont hit the Buttercups” I looked around seeing noboby there and then looked closely at my ball and there was a little fairy and she said If you don’t hit the buttercups, I promise you’ll have all the butter you want for the rest of your life. I looked at her and said “Yea, where were you on the last hole when I hit my ball into the P ussy Willows?

  6. 6
    Iain N said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009
  7. 7
    Larry said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      Try going to these siteshttp://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index…http://www.ahajokes.com/http://www.the-jokes.com/http://www.lotsofjokes.com/http://www.jokesgallery.com/http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm…http://www.jokes2000.com/http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jok…http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/…http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.ht…http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes…http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes…http://www.blonde-jokes.info/http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp…http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/entertain

  8. 8
    IceCube said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7:00 a.m. on Sunday. Unfortunately, one of them got transferred out of town and they were talking about trying to fill out the foursome.
      A woman standing near the tee said, “Hey, I like to golf, can I join the group?” They were hesitant, but said she could come once to try it and they could see what they thought. They all agreed and she said, “Good, I’ll be there at 6:30 or 6:45.” She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up setting a course record with a 7-under par round.
      The guys went nuts and everyone in the clubhouse congratulated her. Meanwhile, she was fun and pleasant the entire round. The guys happily invited her back the next week and she said, “Sure, I’ll be here at 6:30 or 6:45.”
      Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed, and matched her 7-under par score of the previous week. By now the guys were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps.
      They had a beer after their round, and one of the guys asked her, “How do you decide if you’re going to golf right-handed or left-handed?”
      She said, “That’s easy. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the
      covers off my husband, who sleeps in the nude. If his member is pointing to the right, I golf right-handed; if it’s pointed to the left, golf left-handed.”
      One of the guys asked, “What if it’s pointed straight up?”
      She said, “Then I’ll be here at 6:45.”

  9. 9
    jonsford said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      A guy comes home after being gone all weekend and meets his wife. “Honey im sorry, this is the most painful thing i have to tell you!” ” I am sooo sorry but i met a woman Friday and we instantly fell in love. We were soulmates from the start and i just couldnt help myself!” “Im sorry dear but I slept with her” ” Ill do anything to make this situation right!” “Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?” The wife shouts back “Dont give me that bullshit!” “You were golfing!”

  10. 10
    sarge927 said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      Moses, Jesus Christ, and an old man are playing golf…
      It’s a par three with a large water trap in front of the green. Moses tees off first. He says a little prayer, lines up his shot, and hits the ball. Uh-oh, line drive along the ground heading straight for the water trap. So Moses throws both his hands up in the air. The water parts, the ball rolls through the parted channel in the water trap and up onto the green, and Hole in one.
      Jesus tees off next. He says a little prayer, lines up his shot, and hits the ball. Whoa, here we go again — line drive along the ground heading straight for the water trap. Jesus reaches his hand out toward the ball, the ball skips on top of the water across the water trap up onto the green, and       Hole in one.
      Now it’s the old man’s turn. He takes his shot — you can hear this one coming, can’t you? — and sure enough it’s a line drive along the ground heading toward the water trap. The ball goes into the water trap where a big fish swallows it. Suddenly, a giant golden eagle swoops out of the sky and grabs the fish out of the water trap. As he flies over the green, the ball falls out of the fish’s mouth, drops onto the green, and       Hole in one.
      Jesus turns to the old man and says “OK Dad, we get the point.”

  11. 11
    Raju said:
    Posted: October 26th, 2009

      Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and you shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to you to bring a smile on your face.http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index…http://www.ahajokes.com/http://www.the-jokes.com/http://www.lotsofjokes.com/http://www.jokesgallery.com/http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htmhttp://www.jokes2000.com/http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jok…http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.ht…http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes…http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes…http://www.blonde-jokes.info/http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asphttp://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertain…
      Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps you in making you laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

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